Benign————————–What you do after you be eight. Bacteria————————Back door to cafeteria. Barium————————-What doctors do when patients die. Cesarean Section————A neighborhood in Rome. Catscan————————-Searching for Kitty. Cauterize———————-Made eye contact with her. Colic—————————-A sheep dog. Coma—————————A punctuation mark. D&C—————————-Where Washington is. Dilate————————–To live long. Enema————————-Not a friend. Fester————————–Quicker than someone else. G.I.Series———————-World Series of military baseball. Hangnail———————–What you hang your coat on. Labor Pain——————–Getting hurt at work. Medical Staff—————–A Doctor’s cane. Morbid————————-A higher offer than I bid. Nitrates————————Cheaper than day rates. Node—————————-I knew it. Outpatient——————–A person who has fainted. Pelvis—————————Second cousin to Elvis. Post Operative—————A letter carrier. Recovery Room————–Place to do upholstery. Secretion———————- Hiding something. Seizure————————–Roman emperor. Tablet—————————A small table. Terminal Illness————–Getting…

Tech Support: What kind of computer do you have? Customer: A white one. ………………………………………….. Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my DVD out !!! Tech Support: Have you tried pushing the button? Customer: Yes, I’m sure it’s really stuck. Tech Support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note. Customer: No, wait a minute, I hadn’t inserted it yet. It’s still on my desk . . . sorry. Thank you. ………………………………………… Tech Support: Click on the ‘MY COMPUTER’ icon on the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? …………………………………………. Tech Support: Hello. How may I help you? Male Customer: Hi .. .. . I can’t…

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .    A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. Two hats were hanging on…

Read this and see if you think it is STRANGE… This year we will experience 4 unusual dates…. 1/1/11 – 1/11/11 – 11/1/ 11 – 11/11/11 !! NOW figure this out…. take the last 2 digits of the year you were born plus the age you will be this year & post what you get……… “I got 111!” AND YOU WILL TOO!!! It was pointed out that if you were born in 2000 or after that your numbers would add up to 11 – interesting!

  Bird Watching “Today we are talking about politics,” the teacher told her class.  “Does anyone have something to say about politics?” “I have something to say,” said one little girl.  “My father has a parrot and we call her Polly.  One day Polly ate my father’s watch.  Now Polly ticks.”   Farmer’s Flu Farm Jones was sitting in the cafe having a cup of coffee when Farmer Brown walked in.  “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you.”  he said to his friend. “Yeah,” replied Farmer Brown.  “I’ve had a real bad bout with the flu.  first the doctor thought I had bird flu, so he gave me the…

SUNDAYS “BESTEST”   Church    One  Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son  and tell him it was time to get ready for  church, to which he replied, “I’m not  going.”    “Why  not?” she  asked. I’ll  give you two good reasons,” he said. “(1), they  don’t like me, and (2), I don’t like  them.”     His  mother replied, “I’ll give YOU two good reasons  why YOU SHOULD go to church.  (1) You’re 59  years old, and (2) you’re the  pastor!” The  Picnic  A  Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the  town’s annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends,  they began their usual  banter.     “This  baked ham…