Parents Do You Know the Meaning to These Words

I came across these definitions for parents somewhere.  I don’t know where anymore.  If you do, please help me to know who to give credit to.  These are so cute and true to life.  Enjoy.

Definitions for Parents

  • AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labour to make love again.
  • DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
  • FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
  • FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
  • FULL NAME: What you call your child when you’re mad at him/her.
  • GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
  • HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
  • IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
  • INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
  • OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
  • PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
  • SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours.
  • STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.
  • TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
  • TWO MINUTE WARNING: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
  •  VERBAL: Able to whine in words.
  • WHODUNIT: None of the kids that live in your house

Ellen

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